Seriously I M Kidding

Author: Ellen DeGeneres
Editor: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0446585033
Size: 20,64 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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Ellen DeGeneres's winning, upbeat candor has made her show one of the most popular, resilient, and honored daytime shows on the air, and her life makes for great (and very funny) reading. Relatable, her first stand-up special in 15 years, aired on Netflix in 2018. "I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" Seriously... I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more. PRAISE FOR Seriously... I'm Kidding "DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile." -- People "Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new." - Publishers Weekly "Fans will not be disappointed...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through and through." -- Kirkus

Home

Author: Ellen DeGeneres
Editor: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1455533556
Size: 14,68 MB
Format: PDF
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Ellen DeGeneres has bought and renovated nearly a dozen homes over the last twenty-five years, and describes her real-estate and decorating adventures as "an education." She has long cared deeply about design: "I think I wanted to be an interior designer when I was thirteen." This deluxe edition of Home is printed on extremely high quality paper, printed on a sheet-fed press, and bound in a real cloth covered case with a tipped in photo of Ellen DeGeneres' living room featuring her Picasso. In Home, DeGeneres will, for the first time, share her passion for home design and style. She believes, "You don't have to have money to have good taste," and she is eager to share what she has learned over the years. DeGeneres offers a personal look at every room in each of her homes. Included are seven of her homes past and present, from the famous "Brody House" up to her current homes, and she offers tips and advice on what each house taught her. An added bonus is a look at the homes of her friends and collaborators-some of the finest designers in the country. They share their advice on home design, furnishings, as well as a glimpse at their awe-inspiring rooms. Full of beautiful photographs, this book is a treasure trove of amazing California architecture, unique home furnishings, breathtaking art, and hundreds of ideas on putting together the home you've always dreamed of.

Rush

Author: Nyrae Dawn
Editor: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1472219635
Size: 12,88 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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This heartbreaking, powerful New Adult male/male romance will be loved by fans of Jamie McGuire, Jessica Sorensen and Abbi Glines, as well as by all fans of Nyrae Dawn's The Games trilogy... What if you fell in love with your best friend? But no one could ever know... Brandon Chase has always defined himself by one thing: football. He's the star of the team, an idol to his teammates and surrounded by the hottest girls. But Brandon has a secret - how he really feels about his friend Alec Andrews. Rather than confront the truth, Brandon pushes Alec away. But when Brandon is seriously injured in a car crash, the only person who can get through to him is Alec. Against all odds, Alec helps Brandon train his way back to fitness and prepare for the NFL draft. As they spend the summer together, the two can't deny their attraction - the rush they feel when they're together is impossible to deny and neither wants to walk away. Will Brandon be brave enough to face the consequences of following his heart? No matter what the cost?

Double Dealing Iii The Pun

Author: Chuck Closson
Editor: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1483632822
Size: 15,39 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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The Pun is Older than Punctuation The start and use of punctuation occurred around 1500 AD. Prior to this no commas, periods, quotation marks, etc., were used in writing. What one doesn't have, one learns to do without. Books then were rare, no printing presses. Somewhere in those early years someone decided interpretative marks were needed to enhance writing. Yet puns were employed much earlier. In the New Testament, Matthew 16:18, Jesus is quoted as having said, "You are Peter, on this rock, I will build my Church". The word Peter in that ancient language translates as "rock. In effect a pun. Another early pun the headless horseman wore an unusual necklace. A young St. Augustine prayed, "Lord, make me pure, but not yet". Someone punned him as being a "roaming Catholic". Puns are inferential; they twist together meanings and entwine connections to enhance incongruity. No ifs, ands, or butts. Just a few months ago the White House and Congress faced the Fiscal Cliff. After weeks of back and forth wrangling only a few hours remained before going over the cliff to higher taxes. Expressing her disfavor toward a do nothing Congress, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said, punningly, "Congress, it's all about time, it's about time!"

The Bend Of The World A Novel

Author: Jacob Bacharach
Editor: W. W. Norton & Company
ISBN: 0871408147
Size: 10,31 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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“Bacharach has a great comic voice— shrewd, deadpan, and dirty—and The Bend of the World fears no weirdness.”—Sam Lipsyte “Mighty strange doings” mark the Pittsburgh of Jacob Bacharach’s audacious and hilarious debut novel, a town where “yeti, UFOs, rumors of orgiastic rites, intimations of the Mayan apocalypse and ‘psycho-temporal distortions’ add that extra zing to the bustling night life” (James Wolcott). On the edge of thirty, and comfortably adrift in life, Peter Morrison finds his personal and professional life taking a turn for the weird as his attempts to transition into adulthood are thwarted by conspiracies both real and imagined. In this madcap coming-of-age novel, where no one quite comes of age, Bacharach brings an “immensely entertaining” and “Vonnegut-like sensibility” (Library Journal ) to the “aptly surreal satire” (Dan Chaon) of hipsters, corporations, and American life in the adolescent years of the twenty-first century. “A disarming, intelligent and seriously funny debut,” The Bend of the World “marks the arrival of Jacob Bacharach as a writer to watch” (Bob Hoover, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette).

The Real Deal

Author: Kofi Quaye
Editor: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1465330437
Size: 13,63 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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What happens when a hardcore American thug and hustler meets a young African wannabe gangsta in New York? Culture shock for the African when he finds out the real deal in the thug life, in the hood, in the mean streets of America, that wearing the wrong colors can get you killed, that being at the wrong place at the wrong time can be a fatal mistake. Culture shock for the American gangsta when the African pulls his girl, because she finds him real and grounded among other things. Together, the unlikely pair go up against the big boys and end up with more problems than they bargained for.

Damaged Hearts

Author: Jan St. Marcus
Editor: Strategic Book Publishing & Rights Agency
ISBN: 1950860809
Size: 18,76 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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When 19-year-old military veteran Brandon Hawkins is attacked on Venice Beach by a gang of frat boys, he is saved by Michelangelo Curtis, a passerby. Michelangelo was roaming the boardwalk grieving the death of his twin brother six months earlier. The two men’s unexpected encounter forges a strong bond between the damaged and lonely men. Inviting the homeless Bran to his place for some food and a shower, 25-year-old Michelangelo finds himself drawn to the younger man. Neither of the men is gay. But before long, their friendship morphs into something like love and takes them both by surprise. And they have something else in common: The frat boys are out for revenge.

I Heart My Little A Holes

Author: Karen Alpert
Editor: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062341618
Size: 10,52 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
Read: 978
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Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.

The Clarity Series Books 1 3

Author: Loretta Lost
Editor: ThunderWords Press
ISBN:
Size: 16,40 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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FREE FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY! Returns to $5.99 soon! A beloved USA Today bestseller containing the first three books in the Clarity series. Her world has always been dark, but he might be able to change everything... Fiercely independent Helen Winters was born completely blind, but she vowed never to let her disability keep her down. She did not expect a violent attack to devastate her life and force her to drop out of college. Disillusioned by the cruelty of people, Helen retreated from society to live by herself as a reclusive writer in the woods--where no one could ever hurt her again. When a brilliant young doctor shows up on her doorstep, promising her that his new research can give her the ability to see for the first time, Helen stubbornly refuses. She has learned not to trust anyone, and to rely only on herself. But Dr. Liam Larson will not take no for an answer. He makes it his personal mission to rescue Helen from her loneliness, and bring joy into her world once more--the joy she has denied herself for so long. When Helen's demons come racing back into her life, threatening to rip her apart and destroy the strength she has carefully rebuilt, Liam is the only one who might be able to save her. Can he reach the broken girl in time, helping her to heal and see the world in a different light? Or will Helen's grief send her spiraling out of control, lost to him forever? Clarity 2: Helen Winters was living a lonely existence when the charming Dr. Liam Larson coaxed her out of solitude with the promise of healing her sightless eyes. She was hopeful at the prospect of gaining vision for the first time and being reunited with her family. She was also growing somewhat fond of the persuasive young doctor. For the first time in years, she was being magnetically drawn to a new friend... Then everything came crashing down. Plunged into a hellish nightmare, Helen is forced to face the same evils she ran away to escape so long ago. She is unprepared to have her hopes crushed and her peace destroyed. She finds herself living in constant terror and drowning in fear--and Liam's voice is the only thing that can keep her afloat. His comforting touch becomes the only light in her pitch-black darkness. Helen has always been a tough girl who relied only on herself. But this time, she can't survive alone. Due to the horrors of her past, Helen has promised herself not to trust anyone. When her life becomes unbearable, how can she trust Liam enough to let him save her? Clarity 3: After many years of darkness, Winter never thought that she'd be happy or safe again. Her whole world changed when she met Liam Larson, a charming young doctor determined to be her knight in shining armor. When a brutal night unleashes vicious reminders of her past, Winter must struggle to hold on to the little bit of happiness she has found. When everything begins to fall apart, Liam's strength and kindness might not be enough to save her. Battling with the betrayal of her family, terrifying nightmares, and frequent reminders of her enemy that make daily life difficult, Winter's first instinct is to run away. She is tired of being the victim and living in a cruel, crowded city where she doesn't feel like she belongs. But Liam promises her that if she only trusts him, he can change everything. And that's exactly what he attempts to do, starting with an operation to heal her eyes, and then her heart...

Octavian

Author: Robert Ventura & Ray Ventura
Editor: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 1496951557
Size: 20,51 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
Read: 913
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“A star system envied by so many...” Ian Starbrook is in the early stages of his training at Jerab Galaxy’s ranger academy. With an infamous family lineage, he often feels the pressure to succeed and help lead the new frontier of rangers protecting the cluster of planets. But when Ian suddenly stumbles upon secret information pertaining to a particular planet invasion, he and three of his friends, along with a maverick ranger, ultimately find themselves in the middle of a whirlwind adventure battling a sinister empress and treacherous robots controlled by two evildoers. Can Ian help save the galaxy without jeopardizing his own future? “Prepare yourself for an enchanting adventure to a prolific alien world beyond your imagination. Readers will enjoy the cosmos as created by such visionary authors!” -Arita Bohannan, Author