Sun Tzu Was A Sissy

Author: Stanley Bing
Editor: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061755036
Size: 19,93 MB
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We live in a vicious, highly competitive workplace environment, and things aren't getting any better. Jobs are few and far between, and people aren't any nicer now than they were when Ghengis Khan ran around in big furs killing people in unfriendly acquisitions. For thousands of years, people have been reading the writings of the deeply wise, but also extremely dead Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu, who was perhaps the first to look on the waging of war as a strategic art that could be taught to people who wished to be warlords and other kinds of senior managers. In a nutshell, Sun Tzu taught that readiness is all, that knowledge of oneself and the enemy was the foundation of strength and that those who fight best are those who are prepared and wise enough not to fight at all. Unfortunately, in the current day, this approach is pretty much horse hockey, a fact that has not been recognized by the bloated, tree-hugging Sun Tzu industry, which churns out mushy-gushy pseudo-philosophy for business school types who want to make war and keep their hands clean. Sun Tzu was a Sissy will transcend all those efforts and teach the reader how to make war, win and enjoy the plunder in the real world, where those who do not kick, gouge and grab are left behind at the table to pay the tab. Students of Bing will be taught how to plan and execute battles that hurt other people a lot, and advance their flags and those of their friends, if possible. All military strategies will be explored, from mustering, equipping, organizing, plotting, scheming, rampaging, squashing and reaping spoils. Every other book on the Art of War bows low to Sun Tzu. We're going to tell him to get lost and inform our readers how real war is currently conducted on the battlefield of life.

Bingsop S Fables

Author: Stanley Bing
Editor: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062092006
Size: 13,24 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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“Amasterful curmudgeon who causes laugh-out-loud moments.”—USA Today “Bingdelivers his works smoothly, projecting tones of deadpan sarcasm and animatedmockery befitting the often irreverent content.” —Publishers Weekly From celebrated business writer and Fortune columnist Stanley Bing, thebestselling author of What Would Machiavelli Do?, ThrowingThe Elephant,Sun Tzu is a Sissy, and more, comes a collection of playful fables poking funat corporate archetypes while imparting useful and humorous lessons for anyonestriving to make it big in big business. Illustrated throughout by New Yorker artist Steve Brodner, Bingsop’s Fables isthe perfect addition to any executive bookshelf in need of a little humor—and alot of excellent advice.

Snakes In The Jungle

Author: Jim Truscott
Editor:
ISBN: 9781922229960
Size: 13,95 MB
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It contains the memoirs of a special operative in war and business. Operations in war time are all about crisis management. It is akin to a sales manual for merchant adventurers at the juxtaposition of military and economic warfare. Written in the same vein as 'Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, The Real Art of War' by Stanley Bing, it will be enjoyed by readers interested in autobiography, SAS, war, adventure and business. People like reading about human foibles in barracks and boardrooms. The first part is historical and biographical and the second part is philosophical. There are few books written by former SAS officers on history, war, adventure, family and business. In the Judeo-Christian tradition the snake is an evil idea, a sneak, a liar, one hundred percent bad but in China a Taipan is literally top class or big shot used for a senior business executive or entrepreneur. In my case Taipan was my clandestine guerrilla warfare name. Up until now few people knew this. When I first started writing about 15 years ago the memoirs were called Feral Major. The Military Secretary called me this when I was exiled in the Pilbara, and he wanted to know whether I still wore shoes to work. After some introspection I changed the title to Pushing the Boundaries based upon my ability to extend the rule books. Then for a long while it was called Instinct for Dissent, largely due to my ability to disobey lawful commands and survive the prospects of courts martials. Then came a light bulb moment, while prospering after 15 years in the bastardry of business and Screw-You University!

How To Relax Without Getting The Axe

Author: Stanley Bing
Editor: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061969362
Size: 11,57 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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“Nobody pricks corporate balloons better than Stanley Bing.” —New York Post The ultimate satirist of corporate America, bestselling author Stanley Bing (Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, Crazy Bosses) now offers an outrageous “Survival Guide to the New Workplace” with How to Relax Without Getting the Axe—an eminently useful handbook that shows you how to retire on the job while still taking up (window) office space and drawing a huge salary. Succeeding in business without really trying is easy the Bing way. How to Relax Without Getting the Axe shows you all the ins and outs, while proving correct the assessment of popular radio host Don Imus that, “Bing is hilarious!”

100 Bullshit Jobs And How To Get Them

Author: Stanley Bing
Editor: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0060734809
Size: 12,21 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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The scholarly discipline of Bullshit Studies has blossomed in the last several years, fertilized by a number of critical works on the subject and the growing importance of the issue across a wide range of professions. Now, best-selling author and lifelong practitioner Stanley Bing enters the field with a comprehensive look at the many attractive jobs now available to those who are serious about their bullshit and prepared to dedicate their working life to it. What, Bing inquires, do a feng shui consultant, new media executive, wine steward, department store greeter, and Vice President of the United States have in common? What, too, are the actual duties performed by a McKinsey consultant? Other than sitting around making people nervous? Could that possibly be his core function? Likewise, what does an aromatherapist actually do, per se? Sniff things and rub them on people, for big fragrant bucks? Is that all? The answer in all cases is "Yes." They all have bullshit jobs. These few, of course, are just the beginning. Across the length and breadth of this shrinking globe, skillful bullshit artists have secured pleasant, lucrative employment, and are enjoying themselves more than you are. In virtually every occupation, from Advertising to Yoga Franchising, lucky individuals who "work" in these coveted positions enjoy the best lives imaginable -- they are paid well, they rarely break a sweat, and their professions are highly respected, because nobody really knows what they do. At once funny, useful, and tolerably philosophical, this groundbreaking work takes a close look at 100 bullshit jobs -- the money they bring with them, the actual tasks and activities involved (if any), and famous and successful examples of each position, who will provide the neophyte with inspiration. Most crucially, Bing goes on to offer what others so far have not--a clear, concise strategy to help job-seekers at every level reach for that brass ring, knowing full well that it may be attached to the nose of a bull.

Crazy Bosses

Author: Stanley Bing
Editor: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061873861
Size: 16,12 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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Since the latter part of the century just past, Stanley Bing has been exploring the relationship between authority and madness. In one bestselling book after another, reporting from his hot-seat as an insider in a world-renowned multinational corporation, he has tried to understand the inner workings of those who lead us and to inquire why they seem to be powered, much of the time, by demons that make them obnoxious and dangerous, even to themselves. In What Would Machiavelli Do?, Bing looked at the issue of why mean people do better than nice people, and found that in their particular form of insanity lay incredible power. In Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up, he offered a spiritual path toward managing the unruly executive beast. And in Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, he taught us how to become one of them, and wage war on the playing field that ends in a dream home in Cabo. Now he returns to his roots to offer the last word on the entity that shapes our lives and stomps through—and on—our dreams: The Crazy Boss. Students of Bing—and there are many, secreted inside tortured organizations, yearning for blunt instruments with which to fight—will note that he has walked this ground before, looking for answers. In 1992, he published the first edition of Crazy Bosses, which was fine, as far as it went. Now, some 15 years and several dozen insane bosses later, he has updated and rethought much of the work. Back in the last century, Bing was a small, trembling creature, looking up at those who made his life miserable and analyzing the mental illness that gave them their power. Today, while still trembling much of the time, he is in fact one of those people his prior work has warned us against. His own hard-won wisdom and now institutionalized dementia make this new edition completely fresh and indispensable to anyone who works for somebody else or lives with somebody else, or would like to. In short, Bing is back on his home turf in this funny, true, and essential book, peering with his keen and frosty eye at the crazy boss in all his guises: the Bully, the Paranoid, the Narcissist, the Wimp, and the self-destructive Disaster Hunter. If you loved the original, classic Crazy Bosses, you'll be thrilled to plunge back into the new, refurbished pool. If you are new to the book, strap yourself in: it's going to be a crazy ride.

Rome Inc

Author: Stanley Bing
Editor: W. W. Norton
ISBN: 9780393329452
Size: 14,85 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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Likening Rome to an ancient multi-national corporation, the author of Sun-Tzu Was a Sissy shares a case study of how its civilization was marked by brutal consolidations, a prosperous family business, managerial infighting, and other factors reminiscent of those in today's professional world. Reprint.

The Curriculum

Author: Stanley Bing
Editor: Harper Collins
ISBN: 006227483X
Size: 19,27 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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From the mind of the ultimate corporate gunslinger comes this no-nonsense, real-world Curriculum, designed to augment—if not replace—the more traditional path to achieving mastery of the business universe. Conquer this sharp, practical and often amusing course of study and save $250,000 of wasted business school tuition. Unlike those august, Ivy-encrusted factories that churn out masterful business administrators, The Curriculum will teach you the art of business, employing a smart, tactical battle plan that will prove infinitely more awesome as you make your way in the world. We begin, in the Core Curriculum, with the acquisition and maintenance of Power. Included are such essentials as Not Appearing Stupid (an early career requirement), Fabricating A Sustainable Business Personality, and the arts of Management and Selling. The Advanced Curriculum hones the skills that are required to seize Success by the throat and shake it until valuable prizes fall out of its pockets, including fundamentals on Strategic Thinking, Self-Branding, mastering Electronic Communications, and dealing with Crazy People. Tutorials and Electives, which students may pursue as their interest or discretion advises, include lessons on Giving an Effective Presentation, Business Drinking, and the Care and Feeding of Ultra-Senior Officers. Lavishly enhanced with numerous charts, graphs, and other illuminating business illustrations, and backed up by years of study from Mr. Bing’s proprietary research organization (The National Association of Serious Studies), The Curriculum will occupy a place of pride on any bookshelf dedicated to the study of business, how it works, and how it can be used against those who don’t know how it works.

The Big Bing

Author: Stanley Bing
Editor: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061739073
Size: 17,64 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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The definitive collection of thoughts, assaults, and hilarious observations from America’s premier business humorist and bestselling author of Throwing the Elephant and What Would Machiavelli Do? The Big Bing will be a mandatory addition to the library of everyone who works for a living, or would like to. For nearly 20 years, Stanley Bing’s funny, wise, pleasantly mean-spirited, and at times even useful columns have delighted readers in the pages of Esquire, Fortune and a variety of other national publications. Bing has lived the last two decades inside the belly of the corporate beast, clawing his way to the top of one of the great multinational companies in the cosmos. And he has seen it all: the high body count after many a gruesome deal, the machine that grinds up the bones of those who stood in its way, the birth and death of executive dinosaurs (and he’s had quite a few lunches with some of them, too). The result is storytelling at its best—sophisticated, amusing, and driven by the kind of insight that only a true insider can possess. The Big Bing provides a mole’s-eye-view of the society in which we all live and work, creating one of the most entertaining, thought-provoking, and just plain funny bodies of work in contemporary letters.

What Would Machiavelli Do

Author: Stanley Bing
Editor: Harper Collins
ISBN: 006175580X
Size: 20,47 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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What Would Machiavelli Do? He would feast on other people's discord He wouldn't exactly seek the company of ass-kissers and bimbos, but he wouldn't reject them out of hand, either He would realize that loving yourself means never having to say you're sorry He would kill people, but only if he could feel good about himself afterward He would establish and maintain a psychotic level of control He would use other people's opinions to sell his book!