The Little Book Of Complete Bollocks

Author: Alistair Beaton
Editor: Pocket Books
ISBN: 9780671037673
File Size: 74,34 MB
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It is sad that the original meaning of bollocks has been corrupted for in this little book lies profound wisdom. After all, size is not everything. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself treats. Leave little love letters to yourself around the house where you can discover them by chance when hoovering. Start your new life now. Don't read the T-shirt. Buy this book. 144 insights that will change your life.

The Little Book Of Management Bollocks

Author: Alistair Beaton
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743404130
File Size: 49,94 MB
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Showing the same incisive and outrageous wit as in his previous books, where he first took on the self-help craze then New Labour's addiction to spin, Alistair Beaton now tackles the management gurus. Read this book and you will be transformed overnight into a successful modern manager, capable of talking authentic management bollocks at any hour of the day or night, because, let's face it, talking bollocks is what modern management is all about. Below are a few of the gems contained within THE LITTLE BOOK OF MANAGEMENT BOLLOCKS... RISK MANAGEMENT Improve risk management outcomes by never investing in anything. INSPIRING OTHERS As a manager, it's your job to inspire others. If there's nothing inspiring about you, just use fear instead.

The Little Book Of Brexit Bollocks

Author: Alistair Beaton
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1471189171
File Size: 30,17 MB
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'Truly brilliant' - Matthew Parris, Times columnist If any event in recent British history has spawned more bollocks than Brexit, it is hard to remember when. Now, in a successor volume to the perennial bestsellers The Little Book of Complete Bollocks and The Little Book of Management Bollocks, comes the definitive and hilarious insight into what politicians really mean when they talk about Brexit. We know all the phrases - 'Orderly Departure', 'Crashing Out', 'Remoaners' and many more - but in The Little Book of Brexit Bollocks all is finally made crystal clear by authors Alistair Beaton and Tom Mitchelson. They reveal which notorious politician devised the term 'Ever Closer Union', and what he was actually talking about; one daily newspaper branded three High Court judges 'Enemies of the People', but this book reveals who the true enemies are. So whether you believe Nigel Farage is a national hero or a national embarrassment, this book will finally bring some cheer and relief from the agony of Brexit as we head into the Transition Period (which in the end may outlast us all).

The Little Book Of New Labour Bollocks

Author: Alistair Beaton
Editor: Pocket Books
ISBN: 9780743404129
File Size: 75,56 MB
Format: PDF
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Showing the same incisive wit and gift for parody that he displayed to such effect in the bestselling THE LITTLE BOOK OF COMPLETE BOLLOCKS, Alistair Beaton now takes on the might of Millbank by exposing the truth behind the spin. By examining closely the speeches of Labour's top politicos he first shows what they said and then reveals what they meant... WHAT HE SAID: The Internet is dissolving physical barriers and levelling the business playing field. (Tony Blair, speech at Knowledge 2000 Conference, 25.03.00) WHAT HE MEANT: I sometimes have trouble with my metaphors. WHAT THEY SAID: Labour has taken action to improve rail safety. (Labour Party Centennial Document, 28.03.00) WHAT THEY MEANT: That nice man from Railtrack bought us lunch and promised us there was nothing to worry about.

Little Book Of Office Bollocks

Author: Malcolm Croft
Editor:
ISBN: 9781853759659
File Size: 32,94 MB
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Like your office's fed-up printer, The Little Book of Office Bollocks is filled with enough fun and lively banter to boost your Monday-thru Friday fun for the next few years. This super pocket-sized collection of fun and activities is designed to banish open-plan office boredom and is crammed with hilarious pranks and jokes. Includes advice on how to pull a sickie, ways to annoy your boss (without getting fired) and how to create works of art using office stationery. Introduction * The World's Best Office Pranks * How to Waste Time at Work Effectively * Things to Doodle * Clock-watching Activities * Staff and Colleague Q&As * Pointless Meetings * Spreadsheets * Office "Chat" * Personality Tests * Lunchtime * Job Specs * Top Ten: Excuses * Making Tea for Hours * Dealing with Stress * How to Pull a Sickie * Pros and Cons * Corporate Power Charts * Office Etiquette * Sales Calls Madness * Breaking Office Rules * Staff Parties and Christmas Party * History of the Working Week * "Inspirational" Quotes to Get You Through the Day * Famous Office Scenes from Movies * Office Jokes * Office Jargon * Office Olympics * Dressing to Impress * Office Facts and Stats (that will horrify you) * Office Top Trumps * Stereotypes * Office Dating Tips * Office Anti-Work Playlists * Stupid Emails and Memos * and much more!

Little Book Of Office Bollocks

Author: Joseph Gelfer
Editor:
ISBN: 9781840242690
File Size: 75,48 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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Learn the real use for the photocopier, how to pull a stylish sickie and how to avoid Colin the techie.

A Planet For The President

Author: Alistair Beaton
Editor: Hachette UK
ISBN: 140918241X
File Size: 24,51 MB
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This is a story written over a decade ago. Before Fake News, or Alternative Facts, or even social media. It told the story of a not-too-distant future, which really was not too distant. * The President of the United States is facing a global catastrophe. The environment is in meltdown. People are dying. Americans are dying. Even he can't ignore it. There's hardly a corner of the world that isn't in crisis. And that's when he's persuaded of a truth his advisers hold to be self-evident: That it's time to think the unthinkable. The problem isn't power, or politics, or the planet, or the President. It's the People. * Hilarious and horrifying - this enormously entertaining satire has never been more razor-sharp, revelatory or relevant. What readers are saying about this hilarious, critically acclaimed novel: 'For anyone who likes laughs and thrills in one package and who's been following recent developments in the White House this is an absolute must.' Amazon Reviewer, 5 stars 'This political and satirical novel manages to be both thrilling and funny. And, given its prescience, scary too. The characters, the setting and the plot are fantastic and believable. A real page turner.' Amazon Reviewer,5 stars 'A frighteningly plausible thriller, which imagines what might happen if the White House were finally to believe that something had to be done about global warming ... clever, funny and a really good read.' Amazon Reviewer, 5 stars 'This thriller is packed with good jokes and tells a tale that is utterly credible. Parts were jaw-droppingly frightening and I wished I could have put it down but thesharp humour and pacey plot made me keep reading. It's a laugh and a chiller in one book.' Amazon Reviewer,5 stars

People Of Today

Author:
Editor:
ISBN:
File Size: 72,94 MB
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Little Book Of Student Bollocks

Author: Joseph Gelfer
Editor:
ISBN: 9781840243307
File Size: 37,56 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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If you blew your student loan in the first three days on booze and could write your dissertation on daytime TV, then this book could be for you. Containing all the bollocks you need to survive uni from Fresher's Week to the Grad Ball, and guaranteed to be cheaper than any course textbook.

The British National Bibliography

Author: Arthur James Wells
Editor:
ISBN:
File Size: 63,56 MB
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Edibull

Author: Sue Chef
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743430123
File Size: 40,48 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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If you were to make a list of your top five topics of conversations, eating and dieting are likely to feature prominently. In EDIBULL: THE LITTLE BOOK OF PSEUD FOOD, Sue Chef tucks into our fascination with the world of food from fashionable funghi to (infinitely less tempting) fitness fads. Tossing the exotic fruit coulis and beds of highly bred lettuce aside, Sue Chef presents us with some hilarious and poignant truths about this love of all things edible. * In culinary terms a cow is defined as a steak tartare that is free to leave the restaurant * The rich are embarrassed by their wealth. They feel they have lost touch with their peasant roots. Help them out by serving them peasant roots and charging them a substantial portion of their wealth * To be reputable a salad must contain leaves that no one has heard of. Be the one to discover grass. Or to rediscover lettuce * A filo pastry is a pie with ambition * Escalopes are small steaks. Medallions are small escalopes. Punters know medallions are tiny but they think the animal fought in the war * Bearnaise and hollandaise are French for bacteria. The English equivalent is a bowl of mints by the till

Nads

Author: Craig Meggy
Editor:
ISBN: 9780997918120
File Size: 44,68 MB
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This light hearted homage to the one and only, well the pair of testicles will we hope amuse and inform... ..by providing some facts and dispelling the myths and legends surrounding these mighty yet seriously sensitive organs.

Feelgood

Author: Alistair Beaton
Editor: A&C Black
ISBN: 147257852X
File Size: 10,42 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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An outrageously funny satire on modern politics, New Labour and the fine art of spin Alistair Beaton's hilarious play, part farce, part biting satire, is set in the plush seaside hotel of a party conference. As anti-capitalist riots rage in the streets below, sinister and obsessive press secretary Eddie and young speech-writing aide Paul are trying to finalise the PM's conference speech. But Eddie's manipulative skills are to be tested far more by the scandal that George, dim-witted lord and close friend of the PM, gradually reveals - not helped by the arrival of Eddie's ex-wife and investigative journalist, Liz. "Left me sobbing with laughter" (The Times) "Alistair Beaton rediscovers and restores the lost art of political satire in this hilariously timely portrait of new Labour fibbing and deceiving" (Benedict Nightingale, The Times) "Political satire was joyfully restored to the stage last night ... A satirical treat to savour" (Nicholas de Jongh, Evening Standard)

The Little Book Of Bad Taste Sip

Author: Shaw
Editor:
ISBN: 9780752597553
File Size: 13,90 MB
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The Little Book Of Judas

Author: Brendan Kennelly
Editor: Bloodaxe Books Limited
ISBN:
File Size: 53,20 MB
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A meditation on the theme of betrayal stars Judas Iscariot, who, in contrast to his biblical image as a scapegoat and outcast, reveals himself to be a trickster and adulterer.

The Little Book Of Skin Care

Author: Charlotte Cho
Editor: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062416391
File Size: 78,99 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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The secrets behind the world's most beautiful skin! In Korea, healthy, glowing skin is the ideal form of beauty. It's considered achievable by all, men and women, young and old—and it begins with adopting a skin-first mentality. Now, this Korean beauty philosophy has taken the world by storm! As the founder of Soko Glam, a leading Korean beauty and lifestyle website, esthetician and beauty expert Charlotte Cho guides you through the world-renowned Korean ten-step skin-care routine—and far beyond—to help you achieve the clearest and most radiant skin of your life With Charlotte's step-by-step tutorials, skin-care tips, and advice on what to look for in products at all price levels, you'll learn how to pamper and care for your skin at home with Korean-approved techniques and pull off the "no makeup" makeup look we've seen and admired on women in the streets of Seoul. And you'll get access to beauty secrets from Charlotte's favorite beauty gurus from around the world, including supermodels, YouTube sensations, top makeup artists, magazine editors, actresses, and leading Korean skincare researchers. With the knowledge of an expert and voice of a trusted friend, Charlotte's personal tour through Korean beauty culture will help you find joy in the everyday beauty routines that will transform your skin.

Do Bats Have Bollocks

Author: Jon Butler
Editor: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0748111042
File Size: 67,63 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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The letters page of Old Git magazine continues to offer its readers an opportunity to ask and provide answers to the most pressing questions of our times. Questions such as: Would it help global warming if I left my fridge door open? What's the riskiest game of risk ever played? If I fell down a disused mineshaft would Lassie really run and get help, or just sit there licking his balls? Do Bats Have Bollocks? features a host of completely new and untrue questions and answers. With bags more rude jokes, shaggy dog stories and the odd entry from a new, bewildered editor who's wondering what the hell he's got himself into, this book is every bit as laugh-out-loud funny as last year's hugely successful volume Do Ants Have Arseholes?

The Shop

Author:
Editor:
ISBN:
File Size: 78,58 MB
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Britain Under Blair

Author: Merle Tönnies
Editor: Universitaetsverlag Winter
ISBN:
File Size: 18,14 MB
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Most commentators agree that the sense of newness embodied by Tony Blair and his government is due not simply to innovative policies, but just as much to his influence on the national mood. Like Margaret Thatcher, he is said to have created a new 'Zeitgeist'. Britain under Blair therefore examines developments since the 1997 landslide victory not only with regard to the key political areas that already sparked heated debates under the preceding Conservative governments, but also on the representational level. Analyses of New Labour's characteristic rhetoric and various cultural discourses of the time demonstrate the central role of discursive changes in this period. Indebted to a broad Cultural Studies approach, the volume brings together specialists from a wide range of disciplines. They come from both the UK and Germany, thus combining inside and outside perspectives on Blair's Britain.

That S Bollocks

Author: Albert Jack
Editor:
ISBN: 9780140515749
File Size: 76,36 MB
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From crack-addicted squirrels to the kidnap of JFK's brain, Albert Jack gathers together all the strangest, sickest, funniest and most unforgettable urban legends and recounts them with his usual deadpan humour.