The Onion Presents A Book Of Jean S Own

Author: Jean Teasdale
Editor: St. Martin's Griffin
ISBN: 1429951826
Size: 15,63 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
Read: 358

A few words from the author and eponymous columnist behind The Onion's column, "A Room of Jean's Own," Jean Teasdale: Hi Jeanketeers and Jeanketeers-to-be!! As The Onion's very own Humor and Human-Interest columnist, I've been entertaining readers for 15 years with kooky tales of life with my hubby and our two feline children. Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!) A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to! Among the many nuggets of fun: * I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name! * I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting! * Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own! * Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs! * You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party! * Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree! * Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!) * Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!) I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

Our Dumb Century One Hundred Years Of Headlines From America S News Source

Author: Scott Dikkers
ISBN: 9780752217437
Size: 12,76 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
Read: 955

This collection of front page news stories from The Onion, a satirical magazine from America, includes such headlines as World's Largest Metaphor hits Ice-Berg: Titanic Representation of man's Hubris Sinks in North Atlantic, and Marijuana Smoking Linked to Getting High.

The Onion Presents Christmas Exposed

Author: The Onion Staff
Editor: Quirk Books
ISBN: 1594745447
Size: 20,92 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
Read: 742

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without impulse-priced holiday gift books—and now The Onion has unleashed its award-winning team of investigative journalists upon the genre. Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more. From the Trade Paperback edition.

The Onion Magazine

Author: The Onion
Editor: Hachette UK
ISBN: 031625648X
Size: 14,93 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
Read: 764

From America's Finest News Source comes a compilation of the most important, most influential, and glossiest magazine covers ever produced by the hand of humankind. Seen by tens of billions worldwide, these are the unforgettable Onion Magazine covers that altered the course of human history and radically redefined your trivial life anew every weekend. Profound philosophical questions, the thoughts of leading cultural luminaries, harsh truths of existence, remorseless personal attacks -- you will encounter full-color graphical representations of all of these within this handsome volume. Whether you are a connoisseur of pretty pictures or are new to looking at images, The Onion Magazine: The Iconic Covers that Transformed an Undeserving World is sure to give you, the feebleminded consumer, far more pleasure than you have any earthly right to experience.

Onion Presents

Author: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9780836225860
Size: 16,38 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
Read: 775

The Onion created an international following when it hit the Web in 1996, attracting millions of online readers with irreverent made-up stories that sound fairly close to real. In April 1999, The Onion will publish Our Dumb Century: 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source, the book on which this calendar is based. Shrink-wrapped. Boxed.

The Carpet Mind

Author: Anthony Penderis
Editor: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 1491884541
Size: 10,30 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
Read: 642

In The Carpet Mind, Anthony Penderis ventures where explorers of the mind have never been before. This book describes – for the first time ever – laws that control our thinking. The author reasons that similar to the Laws of Nature, which explain all natural phenomena, there must be principles, which guide our thinking as well. He thus defines ten such ‘Fundamentals of the Thinking Process’. In the process he demystifies the thinking process, challenges the notion of free will, tackles many unresolved issues concerning the human psyche, and takes a hard look at some of our entrenched beliefs. The title, The Carpet Mind, refers to the author’s model of the conscious mind based on a Persian carpet. In this model, the human mind is likened to a carpet in which every strand of wool in the carpet’s pile represents a memory trace. These memory traces are arranged in different colours and patterns and equates to fields of association in memory storage. Each carpet has a unique pattern, which reflects our personalities and interacts with a “sensory breeze” that evokes the conscious mind. The author ultimately comes to the conclusion that the human mind is phenomenal because it has given us an unlimited capacity to learn new things and the ability to adapt rapidly to a fast-changing environment.

The Onion And Philosophy

Author: Sharon M. Kaye
Editor: Open Court
ISBN: 0812697243
Size: 16,49 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
Read: 364

The Onion, with its unique brand of deadpan satirical humor, has become a familiar part of the American scene. The newspaper has a readership of over a million, and reaches millions more with its spin-off books and Onion News Network. The Onion has shown us that standard ways of thinking about the news have their grotesque and silly side, and this invites philosophical examination. Twenty-one philosophers were commissioned to provide witty philosophical perspectives on just what makes the Onion so truthful and insightful. Former Governor Sarah Palin reported: “I just couldn’t put it down. The Onion and Philosophy is the most exciting book I’ve read since Principia Mathematica.” Are the Onion writers truly cynical, or just cynically faking it? Does the Onion really have a serious point of view on religion? On sex? On politics? Who cares what Area Man thinks? If everyone’s so dumb, how come so many Onion readers keep on laughing at how dumb they are?

Titanic 100th Anniversary Edition

Author: Stephanie Barczewski
Editor: A&C Black
ISBN: 1441193081
Size: 14,75 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
Read: 449

In a night of unforgettable tragedy, the world's most famous liner struck an iceberg on 14 April 1912 and sank. Over 1500 people died. Whose fault it was, and how the passengers and crew reacted, has been the subject of continuing dispute over the 100 years since the disaster. This is an account of Titanic's tragic maiden voyage which also focuses on some of those who died: among them Titanic's captain Edward Smith and builder Thomas Andrews, John Jacob Astor, the richest man on board, and the bandmaster, Wallace Hartley, who played as the ship sank. In this centenary edition Stephanie Barczewski traces the events of that fatal night. Many of those who died were treated as heroes and how these men were remembered says much about contemporary values of manhood, chivalry and national pride. Titanic: A Night Remembered also sets the liner in the context of three ports: Belfast, where she was built; Southampton, which lost 600 citizens as members of her crew; and Queenstown in Ireland, her last port of call.

The Dead Celebrity Cookbook Presents Christmas In Tinseltown

Author: Frank DeCaro
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0757317014
Size: 19,71 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
Read: 466

The toast of Christmas past is back and not a moment too soon! In The Dead Celebrity Christmas Cookbook, Frank DeCaro serves up culinary delights from Edmund Gwenn's Christmas Cup to Bing Crosby's Sugar Cookies and celebrates the best of the season's movies, TV specials, and music. Recipes from such late luminaries as Natalie Wood, Judy Garland, Burl Ives, Dinah Shore, and even Boris Karloff are featured in chapters saluting fabulous amusements like Miracle on 34th Street, Meet Me in St. Louis, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Pee-wee's Playhouse Christmas Special, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Plus recipes from singers like Eartha Kitt ("Santa Baby"), Elvis Presley ("Blue Christmas"), and John Lennon ("Happy Xmas (War is Over)") celebrate the best holiday platters.

Chef Robert Presents Romantic Dinners For Two

Author: Robert (Chef)
Editor: Romp Thru Concepts Inc
ISBN: 9780973874006
Size: 11,81 MB
Format: PDF
Read: 738

Chef Robert Presents Romantic Dinners For Two is a cookbook and instructional DVd that promotes healthy relationships and keeps couples connected.The book and DVD shows how easy it is to create a romantic experience in the comfort of their own home. The book and DVD is an easy to follow step-by-step cookbook/relationship books that allows anyone to plan and cook a romantic dinners like a chef in thier own home. The book has full colour pictures, tear out grocery list, seven day planner and invitations. The book includes converstaion ignitors and mood enhancers which give suggestions on how to set the perfect romantic mood. "Romantic Dinners For Two" is and instructional guidebook for lovers on how to create romantic evenings and ignite passion. This hardcover book also includes a DVD to help guide readers. Chef Robert Catherine is a chef and culinary arts teacher in Windsor, Ontario. A lover of food, he has learned that not only can he please his eaters but he has also used it as a tool to seduce his wife! Barb Catherine has a passion for interior design and knows how to create an atmosphere. Together they have combined their knowledge for you, the reader, on how to create your own romantic evening without even leaving home.It is easy for most people to get lost in the shuffle of every day life. Children, work, house, errands, finances, in-laws, family. Sometimes, we forget about the person whom is the most important in our lives. A book like this may be the simplest gift to give yourself (or someone else) and get the passion back into their life. The book and DVD include a shopping list, invitation ideas, a 7-day planner, romantic scenarios and conversation starters. This book was easy-to-follow and offered some nice tips as well as photographs. The DVD was a nice addition. Chef Robert walks you through tips and advice on how to create a nice meal, while Barb helps us with setting the atmosphere! Some of the tasty recipes included in this book are: Raspberry F