The Snark Handbook Insult Edition

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Editor: Skyhorse Publishing Inc.
ISBN: 1616080590
File Size: 32,41 MB
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A treasury of biting comebacks, insults, and sarcastic quips counsels readers on how to catch others off guard and get desired results.

The Snark Handbook

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1634503856
File Size: 64,94 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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The Snark Handbook is back and it’s more uproarious than ever. This revised and expanded edition contains even more snide remarks, witty comebacks, and biting commentary than the bestselling first edition. With dozens of hilarious jokes, plus lists such as “Snarky Movie Descriptions,” “Money Can’t Buy You Happiness, But it Can Buy…”, and “Excuses to Get Out of a Date,” it’s easy to find the perfect bit of irreverence to fit every mood and occasion. The Snark Handbook also features hundreds of the best quotes from beloved heroes of snark: “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”-Dorothy Parker “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’m happy to make an exception”-Groucho Marx “There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best part.”-Charles Dickens “I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do.”-Phyllis Diller With charming black and white illustrations to accompany the wry remarks on every page, The Snark Handbook is as fun to look at as it is to read. It’s a must-have whether you want to brush up on your snark, need a good laugh after a bad day, or are looking for the perfect gift for your favorite smartass.

The Snark Handbook Sex Edition

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Editor:
ISBN: 9781742702506
File Size: 69,55 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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Adam said to Eve, "Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets." Funny, Lawrence Dorfman said the same thing to his publisher about The Snark Handbook series. There's a fine line between sex and snark - and we're going to exploit it for all it's worth. Think Plato and Platypus Walk Into a Bar meets The Surrender. Now Dorfman draws on his vast experiences (based mostly on a stack of old Penthouses) to give us a titillating commentary on everyone's favorite subject: sex, or the lack thereof. If The New Yorker.com said, "I'm not sure why I even opened The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition, but I'm very glad I did, because Lawrence Dorfman has assembled a heroic collection. I spent an hour in a state of catharsis, reveling in the sufficiency of the insults," just imagine the reviewer's state after an hour reading the Sex Edition! Here are sharply witty personal observations, jokes, quotations, he-said-she-said snarks, and much much more. For a taste of what's to come: "I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now." - George Carlin. "We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation." - Lily Tomlin.

The Snark Handbook Clich S Edition

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Editor: Skyhorse Publishing Inc.
ISBN: 1616086351
File Size: 20,94 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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Collects the English language's most overused phrases and complements each selection with humorous commentary.

The Sarcasm Handbook

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1510723277
File Size: 32,54 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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From the author of the bestselling Snark series comes the premiere guide to satire, sneering, jeering, and mockery in their finest forms. A surviving knight of many a verbal joust, Larry Dorfman has become an expert at backhanded sass and cathartic banter. Featuring life lessons from the master himself, as well as quotes and quips by some of history’s sarcastic greats, The Sarcasm Handbook teaches readers how to deflect stupidity and express their inner dissatisfaction with a keen sensibility, hushing subtlety, and wisecrack wit. Included in these invaluable teachings are chapters on achieving the right tone, sarcastic bastards in history, as well as scenarios depicting some of the greatest moments in sarcasm. So pick up your copy today and start learning the art of disparagement through passive aggressiveness!

The Snark Handbook Politics And Government Edition

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Editor: Regnery Publishing
ISBN: 1620873923
File Size: 67,76 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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Another political year is upon us . . . a year in which we elect another useless figurehead to piss off the masses, confuse the classes, and, above all, reward the jackasses. It will be a time of fear, angst, and anger, the perfect moment for The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition. Filled with quotes, jokes, and timeless snarks, this brave foray into the political theater, old and new, will serve as a priceless source of sanity as you navigate the asylum. In the same inimitable style as the previous bestselling Snark titles, this timely entry is guaranteed to amuse and entertain. The wit and humor of Lawrence Dorfman shines in this collection, where he highlights the ineptitude and malice that is American democracy. You’ll see first-hand the shenanigans that started with our Founding Fathers and still continue bravely on today. Hail to the Chief!

The Snark Handbook Parenting Edition

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1626362440
File Size: 12,60 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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Do we dare go after the holiest of institutions, that bastion of reverence known as Motherhood and Fatherhood? Do we take a chance ticking off the entire world? After all, we're either a mother or a father or a son or a daughter. . . . Are we, indeed, on “Shaky ground?” Have we finally gotten to the one thing that we shouldn’t poke fun at? Is the sanctity of our home life the one untouchable? Nah Throughout the ages, the one constant in literature, music, film, politics, and life has been the love/hate relationship we have with our parents or kids. Whether we’ve sucked up to them to get what we want or we’ve ignored and alienated them; family is the cornerstone for the majority of headaches that we deal with on a daily basis. We love them, we hate them, we resent them, we loathe them . . . but unfortunately, no matter what, they still show up on Thanksgiving and eat the big turkey leg. With that said, what’s a better gift for Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparents Day—hell any day—where you can tell your “loved ones” exactly how you feel. But one word of caution. . . . Be careful. They know all your deep, dark secrets.

The Illustrated Dictionary Of Snark

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Editor: Skyhorse
ISBN: 9781510740402
File Size: 18,92 MB
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What do Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx, H. L. Mencken, Oscar Wilde, Robert Benchley, George Bernard Shaw, Jules Feiffer, Bill Hicks, Bill Maher, Phyllis Diller, Édith Piaf, W. C. Fields, Mark Twain, Voltaire, Charles Bukowski, and countless others have in common? Not a thing, other than each was a brilliantly snarky wit and all are included in this compendium of the original snark handbooks. Hear wit, sarcasm, and offhanded comments from: The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition The Snark Handbook: Sex Edition Snark! The Herald Angels Sing The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition The Snark Handbook: Clichés Edition The Snark Handbook: Parenting Edition Isn’t that enough!?!? A minor literary success (beloved by both minors and miners), the snark handbooks have cemented their position in the literary world, high atop toilet seats everywhere. Now in one great big edition, this lofty tome promises to fulfill the need to chuckle, guffaw, titter, groan, and belly laugh as readers dip in and out of the great minds in literature, comedy, movies, music, and more. Proceed with caution.

Snark The Herald Angels Sing

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Editor: Skyhorse Publishing Inc.
ISBN: 1616084227
File Size: 15,44 MB
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Presents a collection of biting commentary, jokes, and quotes regarding Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Year's; on bad presents, worse in-laws, and horrible children.

Schadenfreude

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Editor: Skyhorse
ISBN: 9781626361744
File Size: 71,21 MB
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Scha•den•freu•de: noun, often capitalized \'shä-d?n-?fro?i-d?\ Schadenfreude i/'???d?nfr??d?/ (German: ['?a?d?n?f???d?]): pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” We’ve all heard the phrase. It was made most famous in the Godfather movies. And some do credit this saying to the Mafia, dating back to the old country of Sicily. Others say it had its origins in Spain. Still others claim it for the Pashtuns, as a precursor to the Afghan way of life. And there are many who say its direct history stems from Kahless the Unforgettable, banished leader of the Klingons. Typically, the Germans beat the rest of the world hands down when it comes to conjuring a specific word that sums it up. And that word is Schadenfreude. Those of us that are human (most of the book-buying public), whether we will admit it or not, have at some point or another gained malicious delight from the misfortune of others. Most often tied to a vaguely biblical outlook, it is a perfect summing up of a perfectly human trait. Nobody wants to admit it, but we all do it . . . and, often times, gleefully.

The Snark Bible

Author:
Editor: Skyhorse
ISBN: 1632201291
File Size: 46,32 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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The lord of snark, Lawrence Dorfman, is back! With this treasury of backhanded compliments, sarcastic insults, and catty comebacks, Dorfman gives us transformative wisdom that’s sure to change your life—or at least induce a light chuckle. One question plagues us all: How do we survive all the Sturm und Drang of everyday life? The answer is but one word: snark. “She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on by a pitchfork.” —Jonathan Swift “Why don’t you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.” —P. G. Wodehouse “He’s a mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.” —Tom Waits “They hardly make ’em like him anymore—but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.” —Hunter S. Thompson “He has a Teflon brain . . . nothing sticks” —Lily Tomlin “He has no more backbone than a chocolate éclair.” —Theodore Roosevelt Snark will keep the wolves at bay (or at least out on the porch). Snark, much like a double scotch, will help you deal with relatives, shopping, and rudeness; it is an outlet for the unleashed vitriolic bile that’s saved itself up over the months. Like a shield, it will protect you while you go about your life. Snark is your answer!

A Witch S Handbook Of Kisses And Curses

Author: Molly Harper
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451641885
File Size: 34,29 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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Nola Leary would have been content to stay in Kilcairy, Ireland, healing villagers at her family’s clinic with a mix of magic and modern medicine. But a series of ill-timed omens and a deathbed promise to her grandmother have sent her on a quest to Half-Moon Hollow, Kentucky, to secure her family’s magical potency for the next generation. Her supernatural task? To unearth four artifacts hidden by her grandfather before a rival magical family beats her to it. Complication One: Her grandfather was Mr. Wainwright and the artifacts are lost somewhere in what is now Jane Jameson's book shop. Complication Two: her new neighbor, Jed Trudeau, who keeps turning up half naked at the strangest times, a distraction Nola doesn't need. And teaming up with a real-life Adonis is as dangerous as it sounds, especially when he’s got the face of an angel and the abs of a washboard—can Nola complete her mission before falling completely under his spell?